The Rumor Machine
by QTrepe432
Summary: A Funny humor fic that takes place when Zell overhears something totally wrong. When this rumor gets totally out of hand, how will it be taken care of?


I Do not own any of the characters from Final Fantasy, and yet I wish I did. Anyway enjoy the story

Rinoa and Ellone sat at a table in lunch. Zell had just walked into the bathroom and the cafeteria was just about empty.

"So how was your date with Squall last night Rinoa?" Ellone asked Rinoa.

"It was good, romantic, so fun." Rinoa said as she put on a big smile. Ellone had a big idea of what they did and showed her a glint of her gist.

"Oh you sick minded woman!" Rinoa kidded with Ellone.

"You know I'm just kidding." Ellone said.

"Yeah." Rinoa said as Zell came out of the bathroom.

"I mean you'd never think that I would have, well you know, with Squall." Rinoa said as Ellone giggled. Zell stood there behind the booth wide eyed.

'Did she just say she did it with Squall? Oh way to go Squally Boy!' Zell thought to himself. He left to go find Irvine Seifer and Squall.

"Yo DUDE!" Zell yelled when he sighted Irvine and Seifer. Irvine was teaching Seifer how to flirt with the ladies. Seifer wasn't doing too well.

"Bye Ladies." Irvine said as he walked away from the flirtatious giggly girls.

"What's up Zell?" Seifer said as he gave out a big sigh, and put his hands up to the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache.

'Jeez he acts like Quistis more than I knew.' Zell thought as he snapped out of his thoughts.

"What's wrong Seifer? You just called me Zell." Zell said as he began to worry, he hadn't seen Seifer like this before.

"Well it's just I haven't been real popular with the female specimen lately." Seifer said as he began to mumble unknown words.

"Well anyways I was in the cafeteria and overheard Rinoa saying that Rinoa and Squall did it last night." Zell said as Irvine and Seifer went ballistic.

"Are you positive?" Seifer asked wondering how Squall got her to go to bed.

"Well, lets go congratulate the big man on campus." Irvine said as he grabbed Seifer and Zell and they took off down the hall to see Squall.

They headed toward his office, but he wasn't in, so they decided to check his dorm. They knocked and knocked and knocked for about five minutes.

"Well I guess he's not here." Zell said as Seifer and Irvine both gave him sarcastic looks.

"I wonder if he's in with Cid today, sometimes he goes in there and helps him out with paperwork." Irvine said.

So the three men headed to Cid's office. The office was rather busy, but the men had just enough time to see Cid to see if Squall was with him.

"Hey Cid, have you seen Squall at all today?" Zell asked .

"Lets see, Squall, Squall, Squall… oh yes! I sent him on a mission. He left about two hours ago." Cid said as the guys looked sad.

"Well lets go have a party without him, it will be just like he's there anyway." Zell suggested.

"Yeah, Squall's not the party type anyway. He probably wouldn't come even if it was for him so lets just party without him." Irvine said as Seifer sighed and looked at the ground.

"What's wrong Seifer?" Zell asked as Seifer looked up at him.

"I didn't know that Squall didn't like to party. I feel like I'm totally missing out on life." Seifer said as Zell looked Seifer in the eye.

"Seifer, get a grip, if you were missing out on life, you wouldn't have friends like us. Chicken-wuss and Slutvine remember?" Zell said as Seifer began to chuckle.

"I came up with those names didn't I?" Seifer said as he began to laugh hysterically.

"Ok Seifer calm down just a little. The names aren't that funny." Zell said as Seifer gradually stopped laughing.

"Sure enough … CHICKEN-WUSS!" Seifer said as he burst out laughing again. Zell just rolled his eyes as Irvine looked at Zell with a look that said, "what's he smoking?". Seifer still continued to laugh as Irvine and Zell tried to look like they weren't with him.

Soon the group got to Seifer's room and they all went in.

"Lets order a pizza!" Irvine said as Seifer pulled out the phone book.

"No I'll go to the store and get hotdogs for myself, a frozen pizza for Irvine, and what do you want Seifer?" Zell said as he got out a list to write his items down.

"I want uhhhh, hmmmmm, lets see……. ICE CREAM!" Seifer said as Zell wrote it down.

"Seifer what do you want for dinner?"

"Ice cream"

"No for dinner, not dessert."

"Ice cream."

"ICE CREAM IS NOT FREAKING DINNER IT'S DESSERT NOW CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE TO GET FOR DINNER!" Zell said as Seifer stared at him because of his sudden outburst.

"One of those flavored pasta dinners?" Seifer said in a hushed tone.

"That's better." Zell said as he wrote down the last item and left without another word.

"Irvine you still here?" Seifer said as he looked around the room. No Irvine in sight. "Irvine? Irvine where are you?" Seifer looked at the floor, and there was a foot sticking out from under the bed.

Seifer slid under the bed to find a quivering Irvine.

"Zell is scary." Irvine said as he curled up into a ball.

"It's okay Slutvine. Chicken-wuss just tries to act tough from time to time. Don't worry. He's gone anyway." Seifer said as Irvine regained his composure and slid out from underneath the bed.

"Ok lets get this party started!" Irvine said as he ran over to the stereo.

"Yo Seifer, do you really listen to this crap?" Irvine asked as he flipped through Seifer's CD collection.

"Barbara Streishand, Barry Manilow, Elvis, The Beatles, the monkeys, the beach boys? Wow I thought I had seen it all." Irvine said as Seifer came up and popped in his Beach Boys CD.

What Irvine had thought was Beach Boys was really Breaking Benjamin.

"Quistis would kill me if she really new what music I listen to." Seifer said as Irvine patted him on the back.

"It's okay man, I know how you feel, Selphie made me get rid of all my CD's because they weren't happy enough." Irvine said as he got a zoned out look in his eye.

"All the happy music drove me insane. I can't stand to hear anything about bunnies anymore." Seifer chuckled, but Irvine was still zoned out.

About 2 hours later, Seifer and Irvine had practically gone through all the drinks Seifer had in his fridge.

Seifer and Irvine were laying on the floor staring at the ceiling.

"Hey man, why is your ceiling spinning?" Irvine asked Seifer as he replied, "I don't know, but it does this a lot." Seifer sat up.

"Where's Zell?" Seifer asked as Irvine sat up too.

"He left about two hours ago!" Irvine said looking at his watch.

"Oh man I have the worst headache in the world!" Seifer said as he collapsed on the floor. Irvine got an instant hangover also and fell to the floor.

"I hope Zell gets here soon." Irvine said weakly before he passed out on the floor next to the already unconscious Seifer.

"What kind of pasta dinner should I get?" Zell said as he went up and down the aisle looking for the right kind of pasta dinner for Seifer. He had been there for almost two hours, and was getting pretty tired.

"Zell… what are you doing?" Zell heard behind him. That voice sounded so familiar to him. Where has he heard that voice before? It was a high-pitched female voice. It sounded perky, too perky.

Zell turned around to find none other than Selphie.

"Uhh, h-hhey Selphie, what are you doing here?" Zell said hesitantly. Selphie smiled and replied, "I am grocery shopping, that's what you do in a grocery store."

"No really?" Zell said as he laughed. Selphie stuck her tongue out at him.

"Hey Selph? Did you hear about Squall and Rinoa?" Zell said as Selphie's eyes went wide.

"Oh my gosh! No I didn't! Are they okay!" Selphie said as her eyes went wide. Zell smiled and said, "Don't worry, they're okay, but they took another big step up in their relationship." Selphie at first didn't understand, but when Zell smiled at her she finally realized what he was getting at.

"Are you serious?" Selphie said in a hushed tone, Zell nodded.

"I heard it from her own mouth." Zell said as Selphie couldn't get back to Garden fast enough.

Zell had finally given up on trying to pick out just one pasta dinner so he took one of each selection.

Finally he was ready to check out, and paid for the items. Zell took his time getting home. He wasn't in a real hurry.

When Zell arrived back at the dorm he found Seifer and Irvine passed out on the floor. He sighed and sarted to pick up the empty liquor bottles. After he finished cleaning up the room he fixed himself a tray of hotdogs. He ate in silence until Seifer and Irvine finally woke up from their drunken slumber.

"Good evening fellas." Zell said as Irvine screamed and ducked under the bed once more. Sefier sighed as Zell showed Seifer his options of his lunch. So many options so little stomach. Actually Seifer could have eaten all of the dinners, but he didn't want to overfill his stomach.

"Irvine, would you come out now?" Seifer said as he sat down at the table.

Irvine slowly crawled out from underneath the bed. He seemed a little bit uneasy around Zell, but once Zell showed him his food, he lightened up.

"So," Irvine said to break the silence, "Today was very eventful." Seifer and Zell agreed.

"When do you think Squall is gonna get home from his mission?" Zell asked as Seifer and Irvine shrugged their shoulders.

"Well, lets go see what the girls are doing." Irvine said as Zell nodded. Seifer seemed a little bit unsure about it, but after a little bit of urging, he finally agreed.

"Well, lets go then." Irvine said as they left the party to hang with the girls.

A/N: Here is another one of my little stories that I've had for so long, and just recently decided to finish it and post. Hope you enjoyed it. I don't know when chapter two will be up, but be expecting it soon. With school starting back up and everything, I have no idea what's going to happen.

OH YEAH! PLEASE! READ AND REVIEW!


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